Aliens at my door.

Alien: We want to abduct your wife. Where is she?

Me: YOU CAN'T HAVE MY WIFE!

Alien: Okay, we want to abduct your neighbor. Where is he?

Me: He's sailing the 7 seas; won't be back for a year.

Alien: Okay, we want to abduct your leader. Where is he?

Me: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C. Big white house, can't miss it. Old guy. White hair. Likes to sniff females. But, I dare you to take the second in command, too. No, I DOUBLE-DARE YOU!