LOL Loved your article, but just by your list I can tell that you're still a yung'un. Otherwise, F would be for the fecal matter you find in your underwear every day and after a sudden cough.

B is for bending over and discovering that the floor is a lot lower than it used to be - a LOT lower.

V is for the voice in your head, giving a persistent commentary on everything you should no longer do: Are you really going to put salt on that? Sugar? Isn't it time to switch to Splenda? Are you going to eat ALL of that? Don't you want to walk that meal off BEFORE you nap? A cigarette? Really?

G is for the gasping you do while resting after tying one shoe. :-p